Do I Even Have A Heart?
Don't you hate it?
When, no matter how wonderful this guy is,
You can't forget about that other boy,
The one who made you feel loved for the first time.
That boy who was the first to truly understand you,
The boy who finally broke through your concrete wall,
And turned your dreary world upside-down.
Doesn't it anger you?
How, even though it's over,
Those feelings aren't gone.
And although there is no chance of him coming back,
You can't help but long to be in his arms,
Or to see his face and hear his voice,
Breathe in his clean, perfect scent,
Kiss his lips, hold his hand, touch his skin..
And there's always that painful shadow of hope,
Waiting for fulfillment, waiting, always waiting,
Just waiting for that day when you'll see him again.
Don't you feel guilty and terrible?
When this new guy hugs you,
And you close your eyes, remembering the perfect hugs of your first love?
Doesn't the shame and guilt of hurting this new guy tear you up inside?
Do you stay awake all night,
And wonder how you can be so cruel hearted,
Wonder how you can look into his eyes, and tell him that you care,
When you know you would leave him in a second for that other boy?
Doesn't it ache, as memories of him pull at your heart?
And you can't get him out of your head, no matter how much you've begun to care.
Don't you know that you'll never be able to love this new guy?
Do you even have a heart?
Can't you see all the pain that you're going to cause?
Yes, I hate it,
And it angers me,
It fills me with guilt and self-loathing,
Because no matter how hard he tries to make me happy,
I'll always be longing for the past.
And it's too late,
I can't control myself,
I like this new guy.
I can't believe I still love that other boy,
I hate it,
But I can't be angry
Cause I'm sure he's happy,
He must be happy,
So, although it's foolish,
For now I just cling to the frail hope
That when we meet again he'll be ready,
Ready to really let me in.
And for now, this new guy is just a distraction,
Just a way to get by.
It's terrible.. lying to him.. but I can't lie to myself.
I really hate to lie..
When, no matter how wonderful this guy is,
You can't forget about that other boy,
The one who made you feel loved for the first time.
That boy who was the first to truly understand you,
The boy who finally broke through your concrete wall,
And turned your dreary world upside-down.
Doesn't it anger you?
How, even though it's over,
Those feelings aren't gone.
And although there is no chance of him coming back,
You can't help but long to be in his arms,
Or to see his face and hear his voice,
Breathe in his clean, perfect scent,
Kiss his lips, hold his hand, touch his skin..
And there's always that painful shadow of hope,
Waiting for fulfillment, waiting, always waiting,
Just waiting for that day when you'll see him again.
Don't you feel guilty and terrible?
When this new guy hugs you,
And you close your eyes, remembering the perfect hugs of your first love?
Doesn't the shame and guilt of hurting this new guy tear you up inside?
Do you stay awake all night,
And wonder how you can be so cruel hearted,
Wonder how you can look into his eyes, and tell him that you care,
When you know you would leave him in a second for that other boy?
Doesn't it ache, as memories of him pull at your heart?
And you can't get him out of your head, no matter how much you've begun to care.
Don't you know that you'll never be able to love this new guy?
Do you even have a heart?
Can't you see all the pain that you're going to cause?
Yes, I hate it,
And it angers me,
It fills me with guilt and self-loathing,
Because no matter how hard he tries to make me happy,
I'll always be longing for the past.
And it's too late,
I can't control myself,
I like this new guy.
I can't believe I still love that other boy,
I hate it,
But I can't be angry
Cause I'm sure he's happy,
He must be happy,
So, although it's foolish,
For now I just cling to the frail hope
That when we meet again he'll be ready,
Ready to really let me in.
And for now, this new guy is just a distraction,
Just a way to get by.
It's terrible.. lying to him.. but I can't lie to myself.
I really hate to lie..