The Light in My Eyes

I look at you,
And my heart dies a little.
Shaking the truth from my head,
I get lost in my dreams.
Forgotten in a place,
Where nothing is as it seems.
You seem like you love me,
And want to hold,
And hug me.
But the truth hits hard,
To a point where I can't swallow.
Nervousness surrounding me,
More depression drowning me.
It felt like my heart is breaking,
Then you left me alone, shivering and shaking.
I give you a smile,
My looks in denial,
Hiding the real me from you.
The stitches have been ripped,
My heart back in two.
The other one gave me a reason,
To keep the scars hidden.
It doesn't seem like you're scared,
Yet again you probably don't even care.
I always wonder if there is a hope,
That I could be happy;
That you'd be there for me;
Like my personal fairy-tale story.
But, like everyone knows,
Fairy-tales aren't real.
And they never will be;
Despite how many wishes we make.
Or how many books it takes.
Yet, I walk along this road,
Of loneliness and lies.
Hoping you'd soon join me,
Not just a trick from my eyes.
I've recently noticed,
The way you sometimes stare.
I smile on the inside,
Given a new light of life.
It seems that we could maybe be,
In false teenager love.
But, as you say, you're 3 years older.
Admitting that just makes the space in my heart colder.
Cracks breaking everywhere,
Close to shattering the whole thing;
Yet, only the words you say,
Seem to sting.
I give in to your smile,
To your voice,
To your eyes.
Laughing and pretending,
My own brand of fake,
Patent pending.
Please just learn to see,
That the scars,
Aren't all of me,
Or all I can be.
I'd change for you,
If you'd just get over it.
And if because of you,
The light in my eyes,
Can be relit.