Going To Be Fine

The pain and screams,
All resound in my head.
The tears threaten to fall,
But never actually do.

I have to live with this mask,
But its wearing thin.
It only comes off,
When I'm with my family.

Some families consist of a sibling and parents,
Others, a cousin and aunt and uncle.
My family is a bit different,
Mine consists of my best friends.

I live with my parents,
I've known my sister her whole life,
Yet in reality,
I have no emotional attachment to them.

The pain and the screams,
All resound in my head.
The tears threaten to fall,
But never actually do.

How could he hate me?
What did I do to deserve this?
He knows the pain he causes,
So why doesn't it phase him?

I wanted to be like him,
But then he turned on me.
He is the reason I want to give up,
He's not the one who can save me.

If I'm that horrible,
Why do I have people around me?
why haven't they all left yet?

I still listen to what he says,
But its slowly falling apart.
What he tells me, doesn't add up anymore.

I still believe it all,
Just not with as much vigor.
The stories he tells me seem so fake.

My friends are worried,
But they can't see,
I'm getting better,
I'm going to be fine.

I'm hurt right now,
Not okay at this moment,
The tears are still there,

But I'm going to be fine.