what would have been

An underlying sense of counting down:
Rhythmic, deep enteric thuds -
Each another year to fret and frown
About, wading in the cloggy mud
That constitutes a blackened life.

But what if my foot was to slip
as I stand on this chair. would
I feel it for long. or would my
eyes begin to dwindle
As I stare

you know the way
it wraps around my vocal cords
and stops me from breathing. it
leaves that crisscross

around my neck like tight
chain.

what would I feel. what would I see.
would I hear the cries that were
meant to be. would my heart ach finally
heal. an my mind be at ease. or would the
feelings she cause get worse an help
suffocate me. she took everything that
could of an should of been.

so as I stand here on this chair
I can only ask "what would have been"
