Twas the Fight Before Christmas

Twas the fight before Christmas and all through the house
All the creatures were stirring, even the mouse!
The stockings were hung in many houses with care,
In hopes that Santa Pete would soon be there.

Baby Bronx was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions Hemingway danced in his head.
And Mrs. Wentz in her nightgown and Santa Pete in his cap,
Had settled their in their kitchen for a little nightcap.

When out on the lawn arose such a clatter,
Santa Pete sprang from his chair to see what was the matter.
Away to the flat screen television, he ran like a flash.
Turned it on and heard the loud sound of a crash!

The screen shown bright with the sight of snow.
The image upon it made Santa Pete’s eyes grow!
When, on the large screen appeared,
A bright red sleigh, and eight reindeer!

With a little chubby driver, so lively and quick,
Santa Pete knew in a moment it must be Patrick.
More rapid than fan girls his coursers they came,
And he sang, and screamed, and called them by name!

“Now Gabriel! Now, Brendon! Now, Blake and Hayley!
On, Suarez! On, DBlaise! On, on Travis and Vicky!
To the top of the workshop! To the top of FBR!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away! Rawr!”

His eyes-how they twinkled! His green outfit so merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a strawberry!
His mouth was in a smile, his hat covered in snow,
And his glasses were foggy, but his eyes were all a glow.

The Stump of a man was right on beat,
And this angered Santa Pete.
His broad face became beet red,
As his plan for Christmas was now dead.

Patrick was chubby and plump, Santa Pete’s head elf,
He giggled when he knew Pete saw him, in spite of himself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Patrick flew off filling Santa Pete with dread.

Santa Pete then went straight to work,
He then screamed, “Why did I hire this jerk?!”
Throwing on his jacket, he ran outside
Hoping to catch Patrick, the head elf, mid sleigh ride.

Patrick saw Pete and gave the FBR team a whistle,
And BAM! they all flew like the down of a thistle.
Pete shook his fist with all of his might.
Patrick only said, “Happy Christmas to all, I’m the boss for the night!”
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A spin on the original, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.' Happy Holidays y'all!