Happy ***ing Holidays

oh am I shivering inside these walls
thinking bout everything mom and dad said
cutting that thought mid step
then raising my glass full of poison high
takin a swig just wanting to die
Id stop if I just wanted to
just wanted to stop feeling forever
You think I want my soul to die
Im telling you now
all I want is this fucking high
And just as long as all this pain is gone
ill stop killing myself so slowly
stop hurting you without knowing it
But what reality is life isnt
with all the wrong reasons to start
sorry youre so sad mom and dad but
Ive got drugs not a fucking heart