I Wanted Hell

I wanted an out. A reason for my parents to just forget me, a reason for anyone who cared to just forget me. To not to have to hold to any restrictions or punishments. I wanted to live. My way. I wanted to have to SURVIVE. To have a poison rocketing through my veins at light year speed turning my body into stone. To bleed out ecstasy and be able to lick it back up again of that dirty floor.

I wanted an in. A place that held all my in and out thoughts together. A place that offered life for the fuck ups and rejects who knew how stupid it was to snort that but did it anyway. I wanted to live. My way. I wanted to have to SURVIVE. To lay my head back and rest on my own tombstone in my own pit at the center of all centers.

I wanted Hell.