So Close

My weight is growing lower,
and my mood reaches a high.
Its so incredibly invigorating
Shiny silver mirrors
mimic my appearence.
I loathe them.
I know its me.
But it shows me I'm fat.
It shows me I'm ugly.
It shows me I need to stop
being such a pig.

I don't bother with my meals
and never just a snack.
I have to eat eventually,
so I eat all I can.
Devouring everything in sight
Then guzzling the bubbles and
gagging myself with a finger,
searching for the place...
It doesn't take much now...
So it all comes back up.

It leaves my fat ugly body.
So I can be like the
[admired
desirable
beautiful
sexy] girls I see.
It won't be long now.
My ribs stick out
and my elbows look pointed.
If I suck in my stomach I look
just like them.

The scale shifts a tiny bit
enough to make me cry.
My fat--- self gained another pound
No more eating. Not til
next week.
Don't worry. I'm fine.
I wake up on Saturday
feeling pretty and perfect.
But not the same.
I feel
[dizzy,
abdomin
pain,
hunger,
tired].
I won't eat.
I get on the scale.
My goal weight.
I try to celebrate but stop in
my tracks.
It was worth it. But I feel so sick.

Why?

My head hurts and I faint.
Presumably.
But my lack of nutrition
made my heart fail.
but I'm beautiful.
It was worth it.
Thanks, media.

[not my point of veiw.]