listening to my world fall apart

i sit here listening to the wind blow
feeling like im loseing all self control
choped my finer off a few hours ago
to feel if the world is still real and the answear i got was no
looking at pictures of my dead homies wishing i was smokeing and listening to twiztid with them cause im lonely
man aint life a bitch
look out the window as the cool wind blows finaly realised im alone
the barrel in my mouth makes my lips feel cold
i pray to god they never find me so they can put their luv for me behind them
im a man made monster like frankeistein
created by a world that dont want me to shine
if i pull this trigger ill feel the real deal
been sitting here thinking for days and days
if i wrote a note theyd probaly throw it away
i load in the clip and look in the mirrior one more time and ask myself
is the end of my heartbreak and pain worth dieing 4 and the answear i got was different from before
i put the gun down and go listen some more