Internet Connection.. Kills Me

I can't live
This fucking sucks
Your not ruining my life
But it's sure not any easier.
I can't even tell you the truth.
It's just a slam in the face
And then I'll never forgive myself
I'll never forgive myself. eVER.
I can't live wth myself
I'm only keeping myself alive for you
But... I'm doing you no good
Look at yourself.
We're dying.
At least I fucking am!
You leave me!
Just stranded.
All alone.
And you say it hurts?
Do you even fucking know how I feel!
I've never cried so many tears.
My head is a non-stop pounding head ache.
I'm having thoughts of suicide
Thought of death
Ideas of how to get out of this mess...
And you care.
I know you do
If I ever fucking Doubted you.
I feel as if I'd get abused.
But who am I to speak.
A murderer
A theif.
You're banging your head against a wall,
Trying to stay awake!?
And yet.
You try to make me feel better.
Yet you think it's fucking working?!
I care about your pain.
I really really do.
But you know I am the cause of it
So I let you go away.
I'm lying. i'M fucking LYiNG!
I told you I can't live without you!
So why did you leave!?
I'm dying.
And I'm afraid to fall asleep
I dont think I'll wake up.
But I'm living without you.
So he'll might loosen me up..

...
And you promised you'd always be there for me.
You're living a lie
I promised I'd never kill myself.
So this is my goodbye.