Only If

I was glaring at your photo
With millions of thoughts striking my head
I was angry, maybe, but not at you
I was angry at how pathetic I was

Moaning on your memory day after day
Regretting everything I said that day
And shivering at the thought of that rainy day
When I stood at your door, begging

I was wrong, I know
And crying won’t do
But, then tell me what should I do
Cuz I can’t move on with life

I cry as I imagine you with another girl
Telling her the words that were supposedly mine
And holding her hand on a cold day
While I sat alone, shivering in my bed

I stared at another photo of you and me
We were sticking our faces, and laughing cheesily
We made a wonderful couple, I know
But I just wanted to make sure you knew that, too
Only if I can make you love me again
And forget the past, just live for today
Only if I can run to your house like I used to do
And hold you in my arms, crying on your shoulder

It was so pathetic, all those thoughts
Knowing that there was no way back
I can’t have you in my arms now
I’ll have to believe that you’re no more mine

Only if I can take it back a year ago
And stop myself from saying what I said
If I had held you before you go
If I had showed you how sorry I was

Maybe I won’t be standing crying
Maybe I won’t be begging for your return
Maybe I would’ve been sleeping in your arms right now
While you whispered in my ear, making me more warm

It was then, when I stood up and ran out
I ran across the street and pounded on your door
No more begging or crying, I thought
I’ll just tell you how I really felt

A minute, and two, but you still wouldn’t answer
Deadly silence coated the place
I stood in my place waiting for you
And wiping a tear that slid across my face

You opened the door, with that usual grin of yours
But I saw it falling, as you saw me there
I started to speak but nothing came out
As I stood there crying on the spot

You sighed then pulled me in
With such a sad smile, I knew what you felt
How pathetic I was to come over like this
Crying and moping like a little child

In less than a second, you pulled me in your arms
Holding me tightly to make up for the lost time
It was awkward, but still had some warmth
Filled with love, passion, and charm

I knew you still loved me, I saw it in your eyes
But when you said it, it was sweeter, and I cried
I started to apologize, but you stopped me
And said that you could never be mad at me

Oh! How I love it when your gentle lips press mine
And how you’d stare dreamily in my eyes
The way my heart melted when I heard your voice
And how you become nervous, whenever I approached

Then that night, you took me out
To our favorite restaurant, where we first met
You were driving on the road speeding and laughing
Then you looked at me, and I stared back

We locked eyes for a while, and forgot everything
You even forgot that you were supposed to be driving
You laid your hand on mine, and started to lean
That’s when everything happened

Next thing I know, I woke up in a white room
With just one thought, where did you go?
Baby, you do not remember, do you?
Only if I’d taken more care of you

I stood off the ground, wiping my tears
I turned around and started walking away
Taking one last glance at the grave laying behind
Baby, may you rest in peace