Expectations And Lies

He'll never know what he was to me
I'll never know what he is
He'll never see how it broke me
Learning all of this

In this monochrome black and white world
He was the hidden colour
How shocked I was to discover him
He held so much allure

Of course I made my guesses
Built hopefilled expectations
No way you could've lived up
Just one of my mental creations

I built what I wished and I needed
He'd given me so much to work with
Then discovered a fact that halted
Since I hadn't made it part of the myth

I lost it all yet again
My hope and my world was all gone
How silly my expectations
They get so ahead of the dawn

Maybe if I had waited
Let the colour spread around
I would've had him for real
I wouldn't have been so bound

Bound to mental pictures
Facts made up of fiction
Faked out puzzle peices
A hasty survival option

I only made everything worse
I'm broken down and lost
Lied to my mind who believed me
He was the medicine, the cause, and the cost