Lesson in Return

We seem to think that all kids have it easy
Not me, I knew it all but didn't understand
Why everytime you'd hold my hand
It felt wrong
Just like the beat of a song
Is like the beat of my heart
That you can't even find
Cause I know you don't have me on your mind.
Going through your day, yeah just meetin' up with the boys
And you can't hear my cries over the noise
All you see is the little girl
The one who never knew
Who stared you in the eyes
I can't believe what you put my mother through
I'm not a fucking child
But you never seemed to see
It wasn't my fault that Cyndi doesn't like you
And I don't think even me
Could ever know why a father can't talk to his own daughter
You don't even know who I am do you dad?
Knowing all the love I'm sure you'd have
But I hope you choke and die
No wait, no I don't
See why is that true?
That no matter what happens my heart still loves you?
Sometimes I wish we could talk
But we can't
You didn't even see me walk-
For the first time, or laugh, smile or cry
And do you ever lay at night and wonder why?
You lost two kids, fuck I'll bet you'll lose another
But with this whole fucked up life I don't even know my own brother
That kid who went to war and got insane
Now it feels like my whole life as been in vain.
I keep trying to stop myself from feelin' all the pain
How's it feel to have a life move slowly down the drain?
So remember those doe eyes and the fake smile I used to wear
When we'd go for ice cream,but now you're never there.
And you used to always ask
"Baby do you love me?"
Dad I don't even know that and I never think I did.
So I hope you enjoy the few memories
Of when I used to be that kid