WAR

It’s cold
The wind blows
I don’t care
I don’t care about anything
Not anymore
I just keep on walking
Walking
Walking
I don’t know where I’m going
I’m just going

I stumble and fall
Mindlessly I get back up
My hands are bleeding
The red trickles down my fingers
The cold numbs the pain
So I walk
The blood leaves a trail of red

Before I know it I’m curled into myself
Holding myself together
Sobbing uncontrollably
My bloody hands stain my white shirt
Making an art never seen before
I stare at it
Wondering
Where have they gone?
Why did u leave me alone in the dark?

I hurt too much to care about the real pain
My chest aches with pain
I cant stand to think about them
I try to let them go
Free myself of the pain they give me
The feelings I have for them

I fight within myself
An internal WAR tears me up
I hold myself closer
I pull all memories up
Try to take them from my head
They fight back

The worst feelings come across me
I try to hold myself together
My mind is yelling at me
Telling me to let them go
But another part of me
Is screaming to hold on

I yell
And scream back
Into the empty forest
The feelings don’t budge
My heart denies to be put down

All the memories flash to my eyes
I cringe
I clench my teeth
My fists
I hold even tighter
My heart is winning
My mind is letting it happen

In an instant
My mind falls
The feelings are overwhelming
Pain
Sadness
Anger

They all attack me at once
And I fall
Submerged in the deepest regret
Will I be able to come to the surface?
I’ve done it before haven’t I?
But the feelings are picking at me
One by one
Taking the good thoughts away

Anger spills through
I scream
The sound echoes
I clench my teeth tighter
Holding the rage inside me

I swing me arms and let my fist go
They hit the ground with tremendous force
I hear the crack
And feel the pain
Agonizing pain
It travels up my arms

The scream ive been holding back comes
Horror strikes me
The scream was filled with pain
I cringe at the sound of my own scream

Sadness takes the pain
I cry
So much my eyes burn
They roll down my cheek
One drips onto my lip
I can taste it
A salty
Sour taste

I clench my fists
The pain refuses to subside
I scream again
High pitched
My hands go up to my ears
The sticky
Dried blood covers my ears

I scream
And scream
Until my throat cant take it
Pain comes
The feeling is horrible
Making my chest is explode
My hands hold me together
The pain in them
Is nothing to what my heart is taking
The rapid thuds cover everything I hear

Blackness fills my eyes
I lose to unconsciousness
The pain is still there

When I wake
I feel gone
There is no reality
The war
Is not over
It has just began
Who will win this time?