A Bedtime Nursery Rhyme

A horse is a horse is a horse
of course
and snakes had legs
in the time of dinosaurs.
If fish can fly
then pigs can too,
and who’s to say
the cow didn’t jump over the moon?
Hansel and Gretel were baked alive
and then were made into sweet delicious pie.
Like Jack and Jill who broke their crown
Ashes! Ashes! They came tumbling down.
You know of the egg that fell off the wall?
all the horses and men who couldn’t fix him at all?
Well back in the kingdom there was no one to fight
the people were slaughtered, shamelessly clobbered
their screams couldn’t reach help in time.
Ding Dong the witch is dead
because of the crocodile under her bed
he ate her, pointy nose and all
bloodstained teeth and scaly jaw.
“You can run,” said the boy
with an axe in his head
“But you can’t hide, I’ll find you,” he said.
“Death. It’s what you are soon to be,
“Afraid of this wound, this jagged scar?
“It wont hurt I’ll promise, you wont get far,
“soon I’ll have a friend whose just like me, so
“Come. Come and play with me…”
It was a game of Duck, Duck, Goose
but before she knew it
her head was in a noose
Dangled up high
above the treetops
the wire had snapped
but that’s not the end
no, not at all
down came baby, cradle and all.
Tick Toc, Tick Toc
soon the grandfather will strike twelve o’clock
and Hickory
and Dickory
and Dock
three little mice will run up the clock
but when it strikes one
and down they come
a kitty awaits at the bottom.
A-likin’ his lips
A-sharpenin’ his claws
the mice won’t know what got em’
As dark as day is night
little red riding hood travels the moonlight
to grandmas house she will find
that grandmas guts are ready to dine
because inside the big bad wolf
will take her into the bush
he will slash her and eat her
he’ll rip out her heart
poor red riding hood
torn apart.
A horse is a horse is a horse
of course
the snake was caught
grinded, and served main course.
The fish was cleaned.
The pig was skinned.
The cow was shot; the farmer grinned.
So bloody so tortured our world has become
the big bad wolf ate piggy number one.
It’s sad you see
how vile we can be
to twist and ruin a happy time
into a sick Bedtime Nursery Rhyme.
So goodnight, goodnight
close your eyes
and hope the world is safer on the other side!