And Now I Am Dead

Am I dead?
I'm not quite sure what happened to me,
but I know it wasn't good,
and I think I know the cause.
Looking back now I see how much I fucked up my life.
I was born into a perfect loving home.
My parents loved me,
I had great friends,
I went to a nice school.

I don't understand how I ended up this sad waste of breathe.
I close my eyes,
and an image of her comes into my mind.
I was 15 and so was she,
and I thought I'd marry her.

We'd spend summer walking through downtown,
and sometimes stop to get an ice cream.
I used to love the way the sun glinted off her golden hair,
and how her hips swayed in those dazzling skirts.
She was ten times more beautiful than Marilyn Monroe.
She was Woman.

When I turned 16,
my life turned for the worst,
and she left me.
She said I was just no good.
I said I would clean up my act,
andI even offered to marry her.
She ended up running away marrying another.
I thought I'd die without her,
and now I am dead.