Cracks

I eat to repair,

to fill,

to seal the cracks that

have spread across my tattered soul.

I eat to make myself feel whole.

I eat, and I begin to feel

complete.

But then the mirror beckons,

calls me to its cold stare,

and I see how ugly I am,

and the cracks begin to spread again.

Why does feeling alive make me so ugly?

I feel myself wither and fade,

And now I’m empty again,

The cracks tearing me up even more.

And the circle starts over again.

Forever.