Numb

As cold as ice,
but I can no longer feel it.
I feel the burning,
but no longer the heat with it.

I am just an open shell,
an exhibit for everyone to see.
And you have no idea how much it hurts,
so I've turned the tables.

And then a searing pain
a cutting blade.
I resort to my old way of retreat,
the only way to remember.

My pain in words.
My pain in beautiful pictures.
My pain in maps.
My pain in bloody drops.
My pain in SCARS.

You say something is all out of proportion now,
that something is wrong.
What is wrong, my dear?
I see no harm done.
So what if I want to open my eyes,
and see for the first time?