Sins Don't End WIth Tears

I don't remember a time,
when my innocence could have lasted for miles
Sex, drugs, and anger,
famine and fucking a random stranger

Horney and confused?
I've been that way since I was five...
I just wish for once,
I could finally feel alive

I wish, that I can throw away this knife,
Hell,
I wish I could quit being a coward and actually end my life

Another day of holding on...
I concider myself brave though,
I keep my smile on, so the hurt wont show...
It doesn't matter though, cause the pain wont go.

Sins wont end with tears,
I know I have to carry this pain forever.
I wish I can let it go, but I know never.

I end up again,
fucking a random stranger

This is the first time that I've cried in a while....