The Temptation of Citizenship

A monster sleeps in my closet.
I don’t know what it wants so
I don’t dare to go in, to
look into that space
so dark and so cold
that it brings the hair of
my body to a stand still
and turns the breath that escapes me
into a cloud of fear.

I’ve feared that space once before
when it was empty,
except for me.

I was its only citizen
living and breathing the
frigid and piercing air
that raced through
that darkened space.
I felt it causing my
body to implode, slowly
making my existence more
miserable than ever before

I cannot go back, but
this monster is calling
me, calling me, calling me
back into a place that
I vowed I’d never go back to.

Finding the courage to
step away from fear was my
fight and I fought with
honor and dignity and
at the end, stepping into the
warm intoxicating sunlight and
breathing clean air
was my reward

But skies are darkening once
again, and I can’t stop the
clouds from taking over
my state of mind and
as the monster’s eyes stare
at me, I find myself hopelessly
hypnotized.