The Magic 'IF' Word

If fate is handled with old womans and and eye,
No wonder not all people die,
At old age, but unfair disease,
Or deaths by eating poisoned cheese.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
Who is this guy, and is he older,
Than me, because I'll annoy him reckless,
Until he says that I am precious.

If and eye for an eye makes the whole world blind,
What if you had three eyes at the same time?
What if, in fact, you were mutated?
Would that metaphor leave you agitated?

If we need to chase our dreams,
Our goals and mental fantasies,
I'm glad that they are never real,
Or else I would be married to a seal.

When lyrics give you metaphors,
Like Taylor Swift songs about beauty wh*res,
We nod our heads to all of it,
Then go back to PMSing over zits.