Drowning Probability Machiene

Why am I always right?
Does my intellect disable
That I am human
And not a computer?
I long to have that margin of error
To not be able
To download probabilities
Of loss
And like
And social dysfunction
Can’t something just go pleasantly for once?
With no room for my pessimism
That usually turns out
To be a warning in disguise

I was your bet
A horse running idiotically
On an imaginary track
Until I shied
Startled by your
Cruel laughter
It rang in my ears
Rising around my person
Until
I thought
I was drowning