Red Tears

I feel sick to my stomach,
I’m scared of myself,
As I watch the razor,
Penetrate my own skin…

I see the blood pebble,
As the music grows louder,
Clearer,
I close my eyes,
I do not wish to see…

The red tears,
Now down my arm,
I breathe out,
What a sweet relief…

In a moment I will face the world,
No puffy eyes,
No visible sign,
I smile…

I carefully dry the blood,
Like a repeated ritual,
I lay a hand over the cuts,
I feel how it slowly works…