A letter to you

This is a letter to you
And not a letter to you at the same time.
I want to say this to you
But I don’t ever want you to hear this

Can you believe its already been a year?
Or has it been more?
I can’t remember anymore.

The months since we’ve stopped talking,
Have dulled the anger
Have dulled my memories.
It doesn’t even feel like it was real.
Just a dream I had a long time ago.

Sometimes I wonder
If you’ve changed at all.
Now don’t think this is incentive to start talking again,
It isn’t.
I’ve just been thinking about you lately,
I don’t know why.

I hope you’re well
I hope you’ve gotten better
I hope you’ve straightened your life out
I hope so many things for you.

Recently, I told someone that I loved them.
It seams as if I had forgotten about you momentarily.
But, you know,
There’s a part of me that will always love you.

I know we will never meet again.
And I know that I will never know how you are doing.
Which is the way it should be.
But I really hope that you’re better
So please be better.

Love Alanna