First

Happy go-lucky,
hiding a lot.
More than happy,
but really not.
Smiles at friends,
but the pain never ends.
I can't escape the thought of him,
even though he's already gone.
After fighting for so long,
I feel so worn.
I'll just cover my face,
so I can keep up the pace.
It takes a lot to cover what I feel,
even though it doesn't seem real.
I never thought it would happen to me,
and I didn't think it would get this way.
I can't even cry, I can't even play.
But I just smile through the pain,
hoping one day I can shake this away.