Why not now?!

Splash
Splash
Is the sound of my tears falling on the paper; crash
For i cry
But i don't know why
Splash
Splash
Here they are again
I sit all alone
In my room at home
Minutes and minutes
Then hours and hours
Time goes by so slow and full of pain
I feel there's nothing left to gain
Tears and tears; they seem to be full of blood
Draining me of my blood
I lay in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
My room seems to spin
But it's only the world that spins
People carrying on
But someday they will all be gone

Why not go now?
But how?

I can't see any more
Because my tears of blood; the gore
My tears crashing are violent
But all my ears hear is silence
For what is there to smell
But the flames burning in hell

Why not go now?
Now, now, now; why not now?

To me i might not be someone
But to someone else i might be someone
I might be beautiful to them
I might mean something to them
It's weird to say
But it's curiosity that drives me all the way
What would happen if i did this?
What would happen if i throw my fist?
What would happen if i did that?
What would they say if i were this hat?
I guess i have something to live for
In this world thats a whore
Fucking everyone
Making them what to pull the trigger on there gun

Should i go now?
I guess I'll wait to go for now

For i will carry on
At least one day longer i will carry on