Cancer

My chance at a normal life,
Has gone, has disappeared,
Was blown away,
Was murdered by disease.

This year, this fateful year,
I was diagnosed,
With something that can not heal.

The doctor said,
I only have months to live,
That my life will be,
Prematurely cut short.

My hair,
Shiny, long and blonde,
Is gone, has disappeared,
Was murdered by disease,
My wig,
Long, blonde and fake.

I am forever on drugs,
Forever wretching,
Forever watching,
People that care,
Cry on me,
Cry over me.

I slip slowly,
Into a remission,
The third,
All this is a break for life,
My mind turns slowly,
Into thoughts of how,
How do they plan,
To pay the bills,
Of my secluded life.

I wait now God,
After all the prayers,
Mine and others,
To not feel the lumps,
To not feel the pain,
To be free,
Free of my body,
Free of my mind,
Free of myself.

When God,
Will it be my turn,
To join you?

Please God,
I can not stand,
Being stuck here,
In this hospital bed,
In my body,
In my mind,
In myself.

God where are you?
Where did you go?
Why did you leave me to suffer?
Why did you leave me here all alone?

The darkness surrounds me,
Strangling and choking me,
I struggle to breathe,
The loneliness hurts me,
God where did you go?

God are you there?
Can you hear me God?
Answer me Lord!

You were never alone,
He speaks,
No, no that is just my heart,
He was always with you,
He never left,
You walked away,
You tried things on your own,
All you did,
Was make things worse for yourself.

Save me God,
Save me from
My worst nightmare,
Myself.
Cure me of,
My cancerous cells,
Please.
I need you.
Take me now.
I'm ready,
Ready to go.
Goodbye.