Cockroaches.

I watch it go black.
dirty little cockroaches
climbing
in and in and in.
They're eating at it.
Breaking it down
bite by bite
piece by piece.
They're making it ugly
trying to dissolve something
so bright and pretty.
They're destroying
the hope that stumbles
but never falls.
They're killing our light.

I saw them.
and they saw me.
I saw their intentions-
their insides and blood-
but made no move to stop them.
Power was bubbling in my hand
but instead, I threw it at the wall.
I would rather watch something so pure
become dotted,
then kill my joy of it.
And my thoughts made my head explode
they were right there all along.
It was then I realized,
the cockroaches were what made me up.
They were my life support
and oxygen.
And the light they were destroying?
That light was yours.

You led me
helped and protected me from myself.
The only one who wouldn't use love or sex
against me.
You were my hill
and the pile of rocks
making sure I didn't slide back down.
You were sweet.
You were good.
Then I came along
you became sour
you became the enemy of the hope you possessed.
You were my home.
And I burned you down
wall by wall
till there were only cockroaches left.
Only then did I smile.
And lit myself on fire.