Imaginary

I just need to blink once more
breathe once more
and you'll have appeared

panicked screams
quickened pulses
and I still can't see

Nothing but the deafening silence
crushing blackness
and cold nothing

I want someone to find me
need you to find me
but you've disappeared

I haven't seen you since December
you were the only one who could chase them away
where have you run off to lately?

I open my eyes and see you
but know that can't be right
The moonlight moves to reveal a shadow

You were supposed to be here hours ago to help me sleep
now its four am
and my eyes have given up on me

They scream for rest
I scream in protest
they win

and I lose everything that I've worked for.

I feel abandoned,
trust lays shattered on my floor
its now five and you're still not here

You can't have run too far
where else would you go?
I shift and glance at the clock again

Its now six and my demons have chased me from sleep
I waited up all night for you
and once again you didn't show.

Another day dawns and I'm left with bloodshot eyes
its time to fix the damage no one knows you've done
make up does wonders

I drudge through the day
no one notices my twentieth look in the mirror
I want to catch you over my shoulder

my own reflection mocks me
it swears that you are there
buried somewhere in the red lines of my eyes

The plaster smile I've pasted on cracks when I fall into bed
this game of charades is pointless
you wouldn't dare come see me after the send off I gave you

people thought I was nuts
screaming into the mirror about how I never wanted to see you again
I swore I was practicing for a talk I had to have later

How do you tell people that your imaginary friend broke your heart?