Pain

I'm sitting here as the days slip away from me.
I'm writing these words and looking at the screen and all the while tears are falling from my face and I just let them flow and sting.

I've never felt such a burning desire for more in my life, to have my own place, own car, and someday be someone's wife.
I need to get away, I need to find a way to get away from all this pain I feel inside.
I need to go so far away and find a new outlook on life.

It was my dream to become a singer, but from all the screaming in my past, it only became a nightmare, and a dream that didn't last.
My past in itself has been nothing but a long torturous nightmare, and now all my regrets are coming to haunt me, and I just don't think that that's something that I can bare.

I seek help, and I look to find a way out.
Still, I just can't and I see no future for myself.
I wonder if I'll ever be something in this life, or just go on and live miserable like this for eternity.
I just can't, this can't be the life I seek, there has to be more in it than that for me.