Shattered

I wish I knew how your hand felt in mine.
I wish I knew how your heart beat.
The exact feeling.
The exact sound.

I wish I told you everything before.
I wish I didn't move and come back to find you wasted your life.
The exact words.
The exact truth.

Drugs and drinking?
What happened to sharing ice cream and playing?
Was I overrated?
Did I do this?

Inside jokes.
Funny Memories.
I remember.
Do you?

I knew from the moment I met you...
I loved you more then anything.
It hurts...
Even Seven plus years later.

Who knew you'd be my first love.
The one...then even now I doubt you felt also.
Though your sister said so...
And my mother.

Why couldn't we try?
So what..
We were young.
But love defeats all...

You took the bad road.
I was pushed down the painful one.
You used and drank.
I fought through court.

The tears in my eyes prove...
There is no doubt I really loved you.
If only things were different now.
Maybe you'd love me too...