Finality

So here I am, staring blankly in shock after what you did
Leaving me cold inside my heart
Not quite sure whether
To scream in pain at that ripping sensation that's become so familiar, but never this strong
Or to cry silently and let it go slowly.

Whether or not you meant to hurt me, you did
And that is unforgettable
All those lies you swore to fix
Well you just broke them again
And now I'm here crying again and I'm so sick of this feeling I can barely stand it

And if you choose to return at some point,
Who's to say I'll take you back,
after you've shattered me so many times I'm not quite sure what love's supposed to feel like anymore
And yet... I'm pretty sure I still love you.

This coldness is filling me in every way, shape form
If I could make it go away, I would run to your arms
And beg you not to do this to me,
but I cannot because that would require telling you how I feel, how I really feel
Making myself even more vulnerable to you,
and those eyes, those eyes truly see me
and you would know, know everything
and I cannot let you.

So I guess this is my final goodbye
And I'll end it with my simplest form
of summing up those emotions
I'll never ever let you know
In these years of being with you
I really, really love you.