Pride

it all originates with a message
it all ends with a letter
it all began with a question
it all finished with an answer
it all survived with laughs
it all dies with an unbidden tear

it was an infatuation with newness
it was an obsession with curiosity
it was a love with the idea of being in love
it was all a simple crush, nothing more

how often do i scoff at my sister's drama?
how often do i mock at puppy love?
how often do i say i won't be like that? like her?
and yet... i make just as big of a mistake.

i was shamed with foolishness
i was rejected with no thought
i was forgotten with no affection
what did i do to deserve this?

i know what the answer is: pride
confidence with my charms around guys
knowing of my wit and boldness
certain and self-assured, i led my own life

now i plead for forgiveness...
now i realize clearly what sins i have committed
now i discovered how vacuous i have become
what must i do now, my Lord?

i will strive to please you. Lord, be with me
forgive and forget and let me start anew
guide me as i grope in the darkness
fire my spirit with passion for you

my punishment, i will take without hesitation
just to appease you in what might be anger
afflict upon me what you see is a just consequence
i will not utter words of complaint (i hope)

Lord, i ask you once more to take me into your service
Lord, i request that i may be given another chance
Lord, i seek that wisdom will find me and guide my tongue
Lord, shepherd me beyond my wants and fears; for thy will be done