Revelation

Right now,
I’m wishing you were here
As I stare at our pictures from this summer together.
Staring waiting for them to throw me back in time so I could,
Feel the way it did to know,
I was your world and you were mine.
Giving each other genuine smiles that never seemed to fade away.
People kept telling us it was puppy love, when to me,
It was the real God damn thing.
We were together all the time
When we weren’t together we were on the phone or texting.
I swear our whole year together I never got a wink of sleep.
But, then it was worth it.
You made me feel safe when I was terrified of what was going to happen,
And you protected me,
From myself and everyone else you saw as a threat.
I remember the tingling sensation I had when we walked hand in hand
With everyone giving subtle but, knowing glances our way.
And even with all the happiness it has to die sometime,
You had an addiction through the whole thing.
Holding off actually telling me,
Because you thought because of my past I’d want nothing to do with you.
When you were all wrong,
Every time I talked to you, and you were high
I simply cried because I knew
I wasn’t enough to fix you.
I decided to come to this new school close to your end,
We instantly started to split and grow apart because,
We simply couldn’t be together.
I remember it, like it was yesterday.
December 27, 2009 at 12:01 A.M.
Was when you told me to tell you
I absolutely hated you.
Be it a lie or not, you made me because you
Didn’t care anymore.
All you wanted was to be with me and it just wasn’t happening.
After I told you,
I instantly regretted it the second I heard the phone’s dial tone.
I didn’t know what exactly what you were going to do,
But I had a feeling it was bad.
I sat for an hour thinking and crying when,
Your best friend called me, telling me,
You had had enough and you finally overdosed
On God knows how many milligrams
Of heroin you shot
Through your veins.
All because
I forced you to,
Pushed you to the limit,
And gave you the okay
To take your life,
Away from me.