Blood In Your Eyes
Every step I take
No move is good enough for you
It always has to be one more step
Or one more punch
To harm myself, always
You wear that fake smile like a mask
Hiding yourself from the world
Not only me,
But even the girl you claim to love
Who as I speak tears your heart out
And you cry tears of hate and frustration
And take out each of your hard pains
On me,
Trying to ruin me. Trying to take away everything
That has ever made me happy
Not anymore.
I'm simply denying you the fuel you need
Watch me walk away
Never to return and yet
Here you go again
Grinning with the blood in your eyes
***************************************************************
So this poem needs a little background to make sense. My ex, John* and I broke up in late September because of my parents. After that, everything changed. We were best friends before and after going out but in late October, things REALLY changed. I had been going out with someone else at the time, but I had not told him. He asked me to get back together with him, but I said no for logical reasons. The next month, I began to want him back. I broke up with my boyfriend after finding out he was cheating on me and told John right away. Secretly, I desperately wanted to get back together with him. In December, another boy in my school asked me out, but I was unsure of what to say. I went to John for advice, but this time, we got into a terrible fight and he ended up telling me he no longer loved me.
After my new boyfriend, George* told me he was cheating, I dumped him and was then more desperate than ever to be in John's arms. Soon, it became April. I had noticed that our friendship worked on a month to month basis. One month, we were great friends, the next; we didn't say a word to each other. On April 5th, John and I saw each other for the first time since before we broke up.
His behavior confused me. He acted as if we were way more than friends, even though he was going out with another girl, Maria* for nearly three months at the time. Three days later, I saw him again with his best friend James*. This time, his behavior was more secluded and he barely even looked at me.
Three weeks later, James and I started going out. For a week John completely ignored me. I learned later that he was mad at me for supposedly talking about him behind his back. I had not said a word about him. We got into a HUGE fight and now, we are no longer friends.
James and I are still happily together, but I feel so very guilty that John and I have put James in between us.
This poem is about the constant pain I feel both from the loss of a vital part of my past and the knowledge that I am also causing James pain.
*Names have been changed
No move is good enough for you
It always has to be one more step
Or one more punch
To harm myself, always
You wear that fake smile like a mask
Hiding yourself from the world
Not only me,
But even the girl you claim to love
Who as I speak tears your heart out
And you cry tears of hate and frustration
And take out each of your hard pains
On me,
Trying to ruin me. Trying to take away everything
That has ever made me happy
Not anymore.
I'm simply denying you the fuel you need
Watch me walk away
Never to return and yet
Here you go again
Grinning with the blood in your eyes
***************************************************************
So this poem needs a little background to make sense. My ex, John* and I broke up in late September because of my parents. After that, everything changed. We were best friends before and after going out but in late October, things REALLY changed. I had been going out with someone else at the time, but I had not told him. He asked me to get back together with him, but I said no for logical reasons. The next month, I began to want him back. I broke up with my boyfriend after finding out he was cheating on me and told John right away. Secretly, I desperately wanted to get back together with him. In December, another boy in my school asked me out, but I was unsure of what to say. I went to John for advice, but this time, we got into a terrible fight and he ended up telling me he no longer loved me.
After my new boyfriend, George* told me he was cheating, I dumped him and was then more desperate than ever to be in John's arms. Soon, it became April. I had noticed that our friendship worked on a month to month basis. One month, we were great friends, the next; we didn't say a word to each other. On April 5th, John and I saw each other for the first time since before we broke up.
His behavior confused me. He acted as if we were way more than friends, even though he was going out with another girl, Maria* for nearly three months at the time. Three days later, I saw him again with his best friend James*. This time, his behavior was more secluded and he barely even looked at me.
Three weeks later, James and I started going out. For a week John completely ignored me. I learned later that he was mad at me for supposedly talking about him behind his back. I had not said a word about him. We got into a HUGE fight and now, we are no longer friends.
James and I are still happily together, but I feel so very guilty that John and I have put James in between us.
This poem is about the constant pain I feel both from the loss of a vital part of my past and the knowledge that I am also causing James pain.
*Names have been changed