All for you

I Think the terrible thoughts
feelin sick, can't control it, throw them up
but nothing comes out, can't lose these feelings
so throw my body against the wall
over and over, until i fall
now lying on the floor, shaking, crying and numb
the thoughts creep in again
making my head bleed
those thoughts of you, them, myself.
of what i've done, no, what i'm doing!
always for you, never for me
you ask why i'm not happy
why can't you see?!
because it's all for you, never for me
you're selfish, always taking everything
Though i hope and i pray and cry for hours,
I can't fight back, not now, not ever.
So i rewind, suck up the tears and take back the sobs
stand up straight, fake a smile
it never reaches my eyes.
Do you ever see? Would you even care?