Drowning Miracles in Mistakes
it's funny you should ask if i've gone astray
becuase i felt the urge this very day
it wasn't a nag on my coat from a child
this wasn't a longing anywhere near mild
rather a hunger, an addiction, a pain
just once? i plead. before i go insane
but aren't these the last words before a demise?
to end an empire of loss with the sweetest of highs.
so good it would be to just give in
embrace a world filled with savory sin
it's funny you should ask if i've gone astray
because you were deluded it had gone away
how could you ever think that i'm done?
each hit's a ray from the golden sun
and i would never want that to dissapear
to lose my only solace is too great a fear
it seems the only way out is a new way in
but my brain is shut and i just can't win
there's no hidden passage, or trap door
every time i walk away i come back wanting more.
it's funny you should ask if i've gone astray
because i've yet to find how to live another way
they say reading, and talking, and music, and books
all while their eyes judge with piercing dirty looks
just another reason to keep going back
it's the best way to replace what i lack
sometimes i'm without strength- sometmes i'm weak
but there's seldom a person whom i can seek
it doesn't matter, i keep saying in my head
I won't need anyone. once i'm dead.
so, it's funny you should ask if i've gone astray
because it's the only thing that i'll hear you say
the rest of the words don't seem to matter
it's just a low hum of clatter and chatter
in the back of my head i wish someone was there
someone to love, and heal, and help, and care
but i don't want anyone to be my crutch now
i don't need them since i've learned how
just one little taste? and i'll be just fine
who cares if my last time will cross the line?
it's wearing thin as you ask me once more
the last thing i'll see is you walk out my door
and as it slams shut i almost feel sad
but there's nothing worse than the pain i've had
it's all going away, washing down the drain
drowning me in the softest of rain
i can no longer hear the knocks on my wall
i can no longer hear those who made me feel small
and no longer is the sound of silence and regret
i won't wake up tomorrow. so please don't forget
you used to ask if i had gone astray
did you never noticed how i would just look away?
and i never remember admitting my mistake
but you knew. and i too, could feel your heart ache
you had the best intentions- like most do
and i guess you were desperate, so i don't blame you
you tried so hard to save me
but this pain you'll never see
this is my admittance- though you didn't have a doubt
i guess you got an answer you'd already figured out
becuase i felt the urge this very day
it wasn't a nag on my coat from a child
this wasn't a longing anywhere near mild
rather a hunger, an addiction, a pain
just once? i plead. before i go insane
but aren't these the last words before a demise?
to end an empire of loss with the sweetest of highs.
so good it would be to just give in
embrace a world filled with savory sin
it's funny you should ask if i've gone astray
because you were deluded it had gone away
how could you ever think that i'm done?
each hit's a ray from the golden sun
and i would never want that to dissapear
to lose my only solace is too great a fear
it seems the only way out is a new way in
but my brain is shut and i just can't win
there's no hidden passage, or trap door
every time i walk away i come back wanting more.
it's funny you should ask if i've gone astray
because i've yet to find how to live another way
they say reading, and talking, and music, and books
all while their eyes judge with piercing dirty looks
just another reason to keep going back
it's the best way to replace what i lack
sometimes i'm without strength- sometmes i'm weak
but there's seldom a person whom i can seek
it doesn't matter, i keep saying in my head
I won't need anyone. once i'm dead.
so, it's funny you should ask if i've gone astray
because it's the only thing that i'll hear you say
the rest of the words don't seem to matter
it's just a low hum of clatter and chatter
in the back of my head i wish someone was there
someone to love, and heal, and help, and care
but i don't want anyone to be my crutch now
i don't need them since i've learned how
just one little taste? and i'll be just fine
who cares if my last time will cross the line?
it's wearing thin as you ask me once more
the last thing i'll see is you walk out my door
and as it slams shut i almost feel sad
but there's nothing worse than the pain i've had
it's all going away, washing down the drain
drowning me in the softest of rain
i can no longer hear the knocks on my wall
i can no longer hear those who made me feel small
and no longer is the sound of silence and regret
i won't wake up tomorrow. so please don't forget
you used to ask if i had gone astray
did you never noticed how i would just look away?
and i never remember admitting my mistake
but you knew. and i too, could feel your heart ache
you had the best intentions- like most do
and i guess you were desperate, so i don't blame you
you tried so hard to save me
but this pain you'll never see
this is my admittance- though you didn't have a doubt
i guess you got an answer you'd already figured out