Where are you?

Where were you,
I was not too sure,
I never really cared,
Where are you,
Do I want to know,

You should've been there,
I tell myself everyday,
'Daddy should be here',
Yet all I can think is,
What if you were?

Would it be different,
A good difference,
Or would be wishing,
A swift death upon you?

Mybe I take for granted,
That I have no father,
I can't know that now,
Maybe,
It just shouldn't be you.

-------------------------

'Where's your daddy'
The ask me.
I tell them.
'What daddy?'

Somedays it hurts,
Wishing that instead,
Of just being a deadbeat,
That you were just dead.

Other times,
I'm at my best,
And couldn't care less.

But the shadows beat upon me,
'What if's and 'Why not's destroy me.
Why do I have no Daddy?
What if he was here?