This pain runs deep.

My pain it is forever so great.
It runs deep and long like a river.
The Land is my heart and the river are the cracks forming.

When I look at you I see your beautiful blue eyes, that sandy brown hair, that freckle right on your neck.
When Im with you.
How can I describe it?
Heavenly? Warming? Happy?
No its more than that.
Way more.

I'm not sure how you feel I wish I did.
But when you look HER,
someone might as well put a dagger through my heart.
I've done everything I can.

Worn make-up
Cut my hair
Lost the weight

What more can I do?

Why don't you look at me the same way you do her?

When I look into your eyes
time stops
sound ceases
I cant move.

I Daydream about being your first love, your first kiss, being yours.
The sound of your heartbeat
The sound of your voice
The look of your smile
I dont know what I would do if they were gone.

The only thing keeping me sane is that smile.
Holding on to that last piece of you that Ill probably ever have.

Ive memorized the way your handwriting looks like.
Counted the freckles on the back of your neck.

I can't believe I've felt this way for so long..........
7 years.