Black Sheep

What do you see in me?
Do you see your daughter?
Or a prodigy?
Your second chance?
How long do you think I’ll last?
Trying to live up to your expectations,
Do you know my frustration?

What do you see in me?
A college grad?
A high school drop out?
Aren’t you sad?
Ashamed?
That the reason I feel like a failure,
Is written in your name?

What do you see me as?
A leader?
A follower?
An individual who can stand?
Or a conformist that needs a hand?

I need help
But not from you.
You kill me inside,
My independence died,
My personality grew cold,
I never grew bold.
I hid away inside my shell
Never knew my “friends”
No one saw my hell.

My grades dropped,
My passion lost,
Dull my eyes were,
You yelled about cost.
“Do you know how much I spent?”
“Why should I send you there?”
“Bring grades home like this”
“It’s like you don’t care!”
But its you who doesn’t care,
Blind to the child falling into despair.

What do you see me as?
I no longer care,
Its what you will not see,
Me no longer there,

But don’t worry,
Don’t cry.
I watching you
up here in the sky,

Your disappointment died,
I did it because I cried.
I felt like a failure in your eyes
A sorry excuse for a daughter,
One that held no prize.

I knew it would come to this,
I knew it long ago.
But please remember,
Even though I didn’t show it,
Maybe because I couldn’t feel it,
I think just maybe, just maybe,
I loved you so.