The Orange Light Shining In My Eyes

Pacing back and forth,
Against a rusted fence,
The orange light was shining in my eyes,
The only light at nine at night,
My breathing was the only sound I heard,
And what I was about to say was the only thing on my mind,
Those five scary words that I never wanted to say,
The short time I had to say them,
But they needed to be said,
You needed to know,
That I need help,
That's it's going too far,
That I'm having trouble stopping,
That I'm too scared to admit it,
Because I never thought it would happen to me,
What can I do?
Why do I feel this way?
My heart felt like it was going to stop,
I could feel myself becoming pale,
The panic striking,
I was scared as hell to see how you would react,
Nothing has been helping so far,
I need answers,
I also needed you to understand,
But I don't know if you do,
I'm so confused,
And I don't even know myself anymore,
And I can't stand it,
I can't stand what I do to myself,
And what I do to you,
When I was talking to you the orange light when out,
I was surrounded by darkness,
And there was no way to get out of it.