Scared

I'm scared.

Scared of letting myself go.
Too afraid to listen to what my mind says.
When its in a direction opposite to the world,
I'm frightened to follow it.

Doubting everything and accepting some,
I'm scared to give myself away.
Frightened by the love that comes my way,
because of the said 'hurt' it leaves in its place.

I'm scared to put my trust in you.
What will you think if I open up to you?
Frightened to show my weakness, my insecurity.
Afraid of you seeing through my facade.

I'm scared of the path my thoughts tend to take'
most of the time, they go against the ordinary way.
Frightened of following them for what the world will say......
Sometimes, its just too much to take.

I'm scared to write when i want to,
Scared of giving myself away.
Frightened of delving deeper into myself,
Afraid of giving too much away.

I often wonder what the future holds for me.
Wonder if things will go my way?
Scared of thinking of that 'could have been'.
then sad once i realize I've been dreaming.

I'm scared of crying,
of the empty feeling that follows.
Frightened to showing my tears.
Often looking at things through others' eyes.........

Maybe, now, it IS time to let go,
Maybe being passive is not the answer anymore.
I can be more, so i should try to.
Shake off my worries and start being true.

But, I'm scared.