Over and Over Again

The forest fire of my hatred
feeds and grows
from every time he screams at her
every time he smacks her around.

I'm three, maybe; hiding under the table
watching the glass rain down around me
There's another crash
He's yelling.
What did we do to deserve this?

I'm four maybe five
We're walking down the road. It's dark.
He pulls up along side us
screaming drunken nonsense.

For some reason, we get in the car.
She cries out, he's hit her again.
She throws up out the window
I'm screaming, she reaches back
Her hands are covered in blood
I'm not comforted.

A few months and it's worse.
She scoops me up and flees
but only upstairs, not away.
Ushering me into the closet
she follows and locks the door.

He's screaming for us
He says we're going to die.
We're both sobbing and holding each other
He punches through the door.

And now her bones are broken.
It's quiet and she shakes me
I watch her drive and sob
wincing with every bump and turn.

I'm six; she's very pregnant.
He's angry again.
She's cornered, holding her stomach.
Again and again he hollers
"Let me kill it! Let me kill it!"

Now there's three against one.
He's winning, we're afraid.
The baby cries,
we do too.

The baby is five. me, I'm eleven.
She stands up for once, for us.
Calls the police, he's taken away.
We are free!!

Until he comes back again
With flowers and chocolates
with empty words that don't fix anything
because he's always angry about something.