Life At Stake

I sit near by,
A fake smile plastered on my face,
I'm trying to keep it all inside,
but my grip is slipping quickly.

My left hand tightens,
My right arm starts to shake,
My face is growing redder by the second,
I can't hold on much longer.

On and on it drones,
Tell me of sweet and romantic things,
Telling me things that seemed so innocent,
I wanted nothing more than to run.

My lips start to quiver,
My eyes are stinging with tears,
Only then do you start to noticed,
Only then do you dare ask whats wrong.

"Its torture." I say,
"Its really hurting my heart."
You get angry with me,
"You have no right, you walked away."

"If you value a life," I said with a smile,
"You'll shut up."
You accuse me of threatening you,
"Not you," I said, "Myself."

You stare at me hatefully,
You snap under your breath,
But my mind is already long gone,
My body is merely a shell.

I walk through the steps,
Graduation they say, is a great turning point in life,
But its also a place for last good byes.
My body did the rest for me.

Water is cold,
Especially in the Rain,
it hurts to breath now,
but it'll all go away soon.

I will be a wanderer,
I will not be able to rest,
My soul will forever stalk the world,
My Lady will never accept me back into her light.

Things could have been different,
Things didn't have to end this way,
But I was human,
I lost sight of my world for just a second.

And was separated from my heart.
The lines on my chest burn,
my eyes are starting to close,
I can feel myself slipping.

I know your not coming,
I know I'm not your princess,
I know your not my knight,
Not anymore.

But that doesn't stop me from wishing,
That you would show up,
Jump in and save my life,
Just like you used to promise to.

But your not coming,
I'm sinking lower,
and I'm shrinking from your mind,
Each day I matter less and less.

I Wonder what people think,
When they say mean things,
when they remember things sourly,
and they know there is a life at stake.