Finding IT

Not a perfectionist; not a mess
I have a good life
with a family and grades...
...with a future

but thats not IT
my perfect ticket to Hollywood, I don't want it
because it isn't IT
...it's not

mom will buy my clothes
dad will pay my bills
my agent will get me jobs
...what do I do?

they think of a stage name for me
what will my name be?
They think of Echo, Moon, other weird things
...but it isnt IT

to me, IT is what feels right.
its like, you just know that thats IT
your heart and mind are centered, you're centered
...and you know nothing else can replace it

so far..I havnt found IT
ive gotten its
ive gotten so many things that other people are obsessed with
other people...not ME

its not IT for me
its IT for them
IM NOT THEM
...their IT isnt mine

stop trying to control me
stop choosing whats best for me
stop fixing my mistakes
..stop being me

all I want is to find my IT
i want to find whats right for me
take off my collar
tear up my contracts

im not your pet
im not your robot
im not your IT
..im my own

i need to find myself
i need to find my place
i need to find IT
...deal with it