Fake Smiles But Was It Worthwhile?

Everyone tries to break me down and make me hurt, exploiting my flaws.
I always laugh, but the truth is that it hurts like a holocaust.
It hurts more than pain, because it scars you on the inside.
Like a bullet from a gunshot.
Without the blood.
Without the guilt.
I'll stand up and pat off the dirt with a fake smile.
I'll be the funny guy and make a joke, but like all clowns; the joke's on me, because the memories alone are suffocatingly painful.
Each word thrown at me is like an explosion of negative emotion, obliterating any hopes of minor happiness. I, once again, find myself asking "why?"... a question never answered.

I'm smiling on the outside, folks. Don't let this sad trick fool you.