Why I Hate You

I stuff my earphone into my ears,
Listening as you scream and yell,
Begging to stop the tears,
Your words cause me so much pain it feels as if I fell.

You scream unprintable things to me,
I keep it a secret and never tell,
You’re hurting me, can’t you see?
I secretly hope you rot in hell.

I’m your own blood,
So I should be programmed to love you,
But you treat me like crud,
It makes me believe I hate you, which I do.

You make excuses and lie,
You tell me things I don’t want to hear,
Can’t you see that I try?
But these burdens are ones I cannot bear.

I’m fighting my own inner demons,
One that tells me I’m worthless,
I feel as if I’ve been abandoned,
I’m trying to tell myself that I’m worth it.

How can you not see the pain you cause me?
The way I coil in on myself,
As you tell me I’m debris,
Words that should never be said to oneself.

I have one thing to say to you,
The words I can only write,
For I cannot speak them out loud, even though I want to,
So here goes, the words that will make it right.

If there was some way to leave you,
I’d leave in a flash,
I’d take everyone else, too,
I’d leave you alone, with no one to bash.

You wouldn’t have someone to scream and yell at,
You wouldn’t have the power,
You’d be left alone, with no one to call a brat,
You wouldn’t be able to hold me back, like an anchor.

With you, I’m stuck in this world,
One of hurt and pain,
One that makes my mind whirl,
One that makes me feel insane.

My only hope is that when I can leave,
You won’t beg me to stay,
But why would I be so stupid to believe?
I know you wait for the day to send me away.