Honorary Big Brother
I miss you
So much
So much..that for that entire long
Torturous year
When you were declared missing
I still had hope
I still thought that you’d appear
I was so young
Innocent and naïve
I entertained fantasies
That maybe you had
Am-nesia
Something I learnt about
Just the other day
In one of my books
That you thought that you were someone else
And that soon
You’d remember
And come back
And your mom and dad
Would stop crying on the phone
I remember two things
From the year I was seven
I remember hearing about 9/11
And I remember the look on my parent’s face
When your name scrolled by on the endless list of all the missing
“What does missing mean, mommy?”
“It means they haven’t found him yet, honey”
Haven’t found him yet
I always though they meant finding you
Alive
Not identifying your body
I dreamt about you, that night
I dreamt about the day you left
I was five
You were seven
Almost eight
My next door neighbor
I didn’t want you to go
I liked you
But you promised you’d come back one day
And we could play together again
In my backyard
On that old, rusty swing
That I was never big enough to climb up on too
You always helped me up..
If I could have one wish..it would be that you could still keep that promise
Why were you by those two towers, that fateful day?
Nobody knows
Your school wasn’t that nearby..
That’s the thing that haunts me
Even more than your death
That question
Why?
Why are you gone?
Why are you gone, when there were so many reasons for you to still be here?
I’m gone now
I moved
Just like you did
To a different state
I don’t talk about you
I don’t want to
Because when I talk about you
People don’t see the boy who was my best friend when I was five
People just see another face
Just another casualty
Of 9/11
I hate the pity
That reflects in their eyes
I don’t want pity
I want you back
I met your little brother
A year ago
He was just a baby, when I saw him last..
He’ s so much like you
I’m his honorary big sister, now
I can’t fill the gap you left in his heart
How can I, when I still can’t fill the hole in mine?
But I can try
I can be there for him
As much as I can
I can be there like you were there for me
All those years ago
When I was five
And you were eight
And my honorary big brother
So much
So much..that for that entire long
Torturous year
When you were declared missing
I still had hope
I still thought that you’d appear
I was so young
Innocent and naïve
I entertained fantasies
That maybe you had
Am-nesia
Something I learnt about
Just the other day
In one of my books
That you thought that you were someone else
And that soon
You’d remember
And come back
And your mom and dad
Would stop crying on the phone
I remember two things
From the year I was seven
I remember hearing about 9/11
And I remember the look on my parent’s face
When your name scrolled by on the endless list of all the missing
“What does missing mean, mommy?”
“It means they haven’t found him yet, honey”
Haven’t found him yet
I always though they meant finding you
Alive
Not identifying your body
I dreamt about you, that night
I dreamt about the day you left
I was five
You were seven
Almost eight
My next door neighbor
I didn’t want you to go
I liked you
But you promised you’d come back one day
And we could play together again
In my backyard
On that old, rusty swing
That I was never big enough to climb up on too
You always helped me up..
If I could have one wish..it would be that you could still keep that promise
Why were you by those two towers, that fateful day?
Nobody knows
Your school wasn’t that nearby..
That’s the thing that haunts me
Even more than your death
That question
Why?
Why are you gone?
Why are you gone, when there were so many reasons for you to still be here?
I’m gone now
I moved
Just like you did
To a different state
I don’t talk about you
I don’t want to
Because when I talk about you
People don’t see the boy who was my best friend when I was five
People just see another face
Just another casualty
Of 9/11
I hate the pity
That reflects in their eyes
I don’t want pity
I want you back
I met your little brother
A year ago
He was just a baby, when I saw him last..
He’ s so much like you
I’m his honorary big sister, now
I can’t fill the gap you left in his heart
How can I, when I still can’t fill the hole in mine?
But I can try
I can be there for him
As much as I can
I can be there like you were there for me
All those years ago
When I was five
And you were eight
And my honorary big brother