My Struggle

Every time I see food, my stomach will tighten
It will tell me there’s no room, when nothing is within.
I go through this routinely, I face this everyday.
It’s a constant battle to keep myself okay.
I’ll tell you what it’s like from the inside looking out.
I’ll describe for you how it feels then you’ll know what it’s about.
I start to feel queasy after I take the first bite,
But continue to chew, telling myself everything will be all right.
The taste of food on my tongue makes me feel fat.
I want to vomit, but I know I can’t do that.
Looking at me, I doubt that you’d believe
This chunky girl has problems you can’t perceive.
You’d never think I have to have someone tell me to eat,
Or mere promises are the only things keeping me from defeat.
Yeah, I’m sure you’d never realize
What I keep hidden behind these happy eyes.