I Am.

I'm looking,
I don't see anything.
I see no potential,
I see no hope for the future,
In fact, I see no hope at all.

I am blinded by the sanctimonious chatter that swims around me,
I am shocked sightless by the shouts of people on the cold, gravel street.

I'm listening.
I don't hear anything,
I don't hear any music,
I don't hear notes that could be decent,
I hear no decency, just white noise.

I am deafened by the lights that they shine in my eyes,
I am defeated by the kalleidascope spaceship that makes up this world.

I'm touching,
I can't feel a single thing,
I feel no muscle,
It's just sinew and fat,
It could never be any good at all.

I am murdered by the waves; in the ocean, they take away all the sand,
I am killed now, by the pittance I live; I am broken without this.

I'm smelling.
I don't smell anything.
I can't smell the food,
I can't smell what it could be,
I don't want to, it's no good.

I am sickened by your eyes, dead and in a jar.
I am vomiting; acid burns my throat.

I have no senses, you've made me senseless.
I have no wits about me, I know.
That's what life trapeze, does to the senses, my life is empty,
I can't feel you.
I can't see you.
I can't hear you.

I can't love you.